He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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