I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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