Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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