I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
