i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
