Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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