Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
