then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
