Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
