i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Ladies don't puke and tell
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
