You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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