So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
