i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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