we have officially lost it.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
