i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
