exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize