oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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