is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
