Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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