i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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