Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
