Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
