You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
