4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
