Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
