I wanna passion pit in your ass
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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