with your own penis?
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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