I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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