There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
