I want to walk on stilts...naked
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
