Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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