no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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