I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
