im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
