whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
