All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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