after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
