glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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