Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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