Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
