doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
