It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just googled if crying burns calories
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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