this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
