worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
