i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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