just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
