He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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