I should be sponsored by Trojan
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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