I wannas sexs uuuuu
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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