like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
