if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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