note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
send nudes
from the living room?
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