1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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