my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
