Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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