He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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